I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
