hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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