You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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