It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
