have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
