I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
