Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
