I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
