I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
