Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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