I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
