Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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