HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize