Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
