She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
