If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
