I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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