Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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