While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
