Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
