I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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