OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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