Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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