Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
