Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
