Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
