So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
