Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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