Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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