i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
