I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
