he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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