Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
