After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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