worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
