You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
