I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
