So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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