i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
