you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
