lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
