In the future we'll all be gay
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize