remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
