I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
