Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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