Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
