Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
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Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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