my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
