Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
