Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
