Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize