I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
