I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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