I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
