Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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