My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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