Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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