I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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