i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
smell my finger.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
