This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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