ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
