this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just pee around me
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
