I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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