I'm going to jail i love you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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