i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
