One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
