Buhtt sex?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
