they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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